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    May 12

    发发牢骚

      哎呀,自从在网上占了个地方就来过一两次,灰都落了一层了。光说在校友录里不发言,连自己的地方都懒得说话,哈哈,可能是平时说的话太多了,就不愿意再讲一遍。
     
      人是彻底堕落的,无论干什么都不会作实验,更不愿意想。年轻的时候多能自我鞭策阿,写日记骂自己,一遍一遍,不厌其烦。而且还真管用,总能一次次的从困难中解脱。现在就什么都由自己,舒服就行,怎么折腾都行,就是不做增强才干的事。
     
      这可是数月数天来头一回,拣起旧习,提醒提醒自己。为什么就非要等到火烧眉毛,才狗急跳墙呢?以前总是有那么多的客观原因在约束,是,没法避免,现在没有了客观,主观在干什么?在寻找客观。
     
      前些日子看了老舍的骆驼祥子,很明显看见了自己的影子。我们的环境没有暴风骤雨,我们的地位无论过去还是将来都不能和旧社会的车夫相提并论,可我们的心态,却像旧社会生活在最低层的车夫一样,从斗志昂扬到沮丧失望,从小时候什么科学家的梦想到张口闭口“能挣多少钱”。灵魂的蜕变是渐进的不知不觉的过程,是一次又一次失望打击留下创伤的积累。终于有一天,我们长大了,我们知道痛苦的滋味,知道“生活不是那么容易的”,知道完美的学业给不了太多,知道酒桌文化,渐渐学会说话。。。。。。生活中的我们不会像祥子一样极端,真正的堕落也不至于沦落到给人家丧礼打牌的地步,可是我们的灵魂,从热爱的热情的亢奋的充满希望的有无穷干大事力量的变成了“差不多就行”,这不是祥子的影子?
    而甘愿堕落,是成熟的结果
    (注,为行文需要,将”我“改称为”我们“,可没有打击一大片的意思)

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    咔咔,算我一个!~~~痛苦不是因为我们堕落,嘿嘿,是因为明知故犯的堕落着~~
     
    May 12

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